A meeting was convened at Jez’s house as his good lady wife was away with the twins. She suggested “Songs about girls” and the challenge was taken up. Only four of us could make it and Roger had to make a quick exit as he was up early for a work trip to Wales. As usual, you prepare a list of top tunes that gets changed almost straight away as someone plays something that reminds you of another song…..….thank the Lord for iPods so you can carry big chunks of your collection with you. I toyed with the idea of just playing Cramps records all night but only ended up playing 2. Hot chicken wings (well, legs actually) with Jez’s special sauce, dips, crisps…etc.. were gratefully accepted as I’ d arrived straight from work….

The Girls (acoustic) – Calvin Harris  (Jez)
Whole lotta Rosie (live) – ACDC   (Roger)
Girl – Stereophonics     (Simon)
Today’s the day my wife met my girlfriend – Rodney Carrington   (Bob)
Little Girl – The Banned    (Jez)
Crazy Mary (live) – Pearl Jam   (Roger)
Ada – The National   (Simon)
What’s inside a girl? – The Cramps    (Bob)
Girl on fire – Pendulum     (Jez)
A Girl like you – Edwyn Collins    (roger)
Hey little girl – Icehouse    (Roger)

Then Roger had to depart and we started in themes. First, Songs about specific girls…….

Martha – Tom Waits    (Simon)
Dr Lee PhD – Beastie Boys Feat. Lee Scratch Perry (Bob….who’s wife IS Dr Lee PhD)
Girl who lives on Heaven Hill – Husker Du    (Jez)
The girl who was too beautiful – The Hot Puppies    (Simon)
Enola Gay – The Treble Spankers     (Bob)
Wide eyed girl on the wall – Small Faces    (Jez)

Then a misogynistic round……..

Let the bitches die – Lightspeed Champion    (Simon)
Devil Woman – Marty Robbins     (Bob)
Woman – Anti-Nowhere League    (Jez)
Pretty Girls Make Graves – The Smiths    (Simon)
All women are bad – The Cramps    (Bob)
Drips – Eminem     (Jez)

Sex/ Sex Object round……..

Girls of Porn – Mr Bungle     (Jez – obviously!)
Peaches – The Stranglers     (Simon)
XXX Funk – Funk Doobiest    (Bob)
Good Morning Little Schoolgirl – Ten Years After    (Jez)
Southtown Girls – The Hold Steady     (Simon)
Late for work – Darts    (Bob)

A Lovin round……
Can’t take my eyes off you – Muse    (Jez)
Eyes like tar – Pete & the Pirates    (Simon)
Chelsea hotel oral sex song – Jeffrey Lewis     (Bob)
I believe in the way you move – Jeremy Warmsley    (Jez)
Jocasta – Noah & the Whale    (Simon)
I’m in love with Margaret Thatcher – Notsensibles     (Bob)

Then back to freestyle…….

Handbags and Gladrags – Chris Farlowe    (Jez)
You stole the sun from my heart you bloody cow – The Manic Street Preachers   (Simon)
She’s lost control – Grace Jones     (Bob)
Girls get the bass in the back (Hey baby remix) – No Doubt     (Jez)
Gracie – Ben Folds     (Simon)
Strange kind of woman – Deep Purple    (Bob)
Pasties and a G-String – Tom Waits    (Jez)
Typical Girls – Slits     (Simon)
Girlie Girlie – Sophia George     (Bob)

It was then time to go – I lamented that I hadn’t had chance to play My Sharona by the Knack – A light shone in Jez’s eye “have you heard the ‘9 Coronas’ version?” – I have now!!!!

This was my original list

Bob the Chiropodist